“A newspaper column once defined the friend zone as follows:
She discusses her love life with him and has the “audacity” to ask his advice on it. He performs favors for her. He does everything a boyfriend would do — but without the benefits.”
As if the only reason to be a good friend
or a decent fucking human
is if you get something in exchange.
The problem is, when I started
thinking of myself as a savior,
I ended up thinking of myself
as a savior with a salary.
You put in your hours as a nice guy
and sex is just a living wage
but sex is not a transaction.
Sex is not a handshake to seal some deal.
That girl did not owe me anything.”
16 year old child: mom, dad: I'm gay/lesbian/bi/pan
Straight parents: you're too young to know what your sexuality is! It's just a phase.
Baby boy: *stares at a baby girl for no reason other than the fact that babies stare at everything*
Straight parents: oooh! Ladies man! We're gonna have to keep the girls offa you!